I hate Christmas.  There.  I said it.

There is no time that makes me feel more uncomfortable in my own skin than Christmas.  I simply cannot justify this seemingly jolly time.  We spend even though we cannot.  We smile even though it hurts.  We give gifts because we feel we ought to.  We celebrate.  We eat.  We drink.  We sing.  We spend time with family and visit people we otherwise wouldn’t.  We place phone calls to distant friends and sign our Christmas cards with “best wishes in the new year!” even though we only send these wishes once a year.  I can’t justify it.

I am not a rich person.  Each month, week and day is full with financial struggles for me, but I know that no matter how bad my situation may seem that I will be ok.  There is no fear of living on the street.  No fear of hunger and no fear of being without.  My pocket may be filled with nothing but lint and holes but my life is filled with nothing but blessings, gifts and wonder.  Things are tough, but I have myself and I have one Being to thank for myself.  I do not have finances to share this time of year but I have my many gifts.  I will sing carols and hope to brighten someone’s day, I will smile and I will lend my shoulder to cry on.  Unlike financial gifts my gifts will never run out.  There will always be one more chorus to sing, one more smile to share and one more story to hear.  Even though it may hurt, I will smile; and even when I don’t feel like it, I will sing.

I cannot help but think of the following story found in Mark 12.

As he was sitting opposite the temple treasure, he watched the people dropping their money into the chest.  Many rich people were putting in large amounts.  Presently there came a poor widow who dropped in two tiny coins, together worth a penny.  He called his disciples to him and said, ‘Truly I tell you: this poor widow has given more than all those giving to the treasury; for the others who have given had more than enough, but she, with less than enough, has given all that she had to live on. (Mark 12: 41-44)

Immediately after reading this my mind flips back to the following passage from Matthew:

‘Show me the coin used for the tax.’  They [Pharisees] handed him a silver piece.  Jesus asked, ‘Whose head is this, and whose inscription?’  ‘Caesar’s’ they replied.  He said to them, ‘Then pay to Caesar what belongs to Caesar and to God what belongs to God.’ (Matt. 22: 19-21)

We all have countless gifts at our disposal.  Each of us is blessed in one way or another — what would it be if we took these gifts - all of our gifts - and gave them back to God to whom they belong?  What would it be if we acted as the woman at the temple and gave all the gifts we have?  What if.  What if all the singers sang, all the dancers danced and all the writers wrote?  What if all the painters painted, if all the teachers taught and all the healers healed?  What if.  What if we gave all year round and not just at Christmas?

What is there about Christmas that makes all the givers come out of the closet and what is there about the rest of the year that prevents them from sharing?  If we truly gave everything we have we would constantly be giving for we are constantly blessed with gifts.  Perhaps what irks me most about this time of year is the hypocrisy.  By giving gifts, making contact and showing our face at church we strive to give the impression that we care - that we really care; however, if we really cared would we not engage in such activities all year?  It saddens me to think that so many people are capable of doing so much but fail to live to their potential.

The first advent candle was ignited last week - the candle of hope.  Perhaps I should see the Christmas season as a sign of hope and look beyond the despair that I currently see.  Perhaps the excessive giving we engage in should be a hopeful sign that we are capable of giving; but this is still a stretch for me.  We give because we feel we ought to, often not because we want to.

I know my name is synonymous with Scrooge but I still wish the best for you this holiday season; but not just this holiday season - for the whole year through.  Know that I am willing to give back what has been given to me and I hope you are encouraged to do the same.  Sing.  Dance.  Write.  Paint.  Teach.  Heal.  Love.  Hope.  Pray.  Do what you can, give what you can, and don’t cease.

Peace,
Rhonda (aka Scrooge).